Dog goD (the palindrome)
By Carl Kopman
My dog looks up at me expectantly
carrying her leash in her mouth.
Let’s go where we went last week, she says
What was last week I ask
What day was yesterday, I ask
And she says yesterday was Thursday,
and today is Friday, trash day, ruff ruff
And I say how can that be I just took out the trash yesterday
And she pants no, no… that was last week
And that’s how time goes these days
like a virus it spreads on delicious minutes
with friends wearing masks
and hugs and kisses being pantomimed
and me talking to my dog
And it would be funny were it not for
the love we are all missing
in the dying hours of our generation
is what I say to her, my dog, Dear Abbie,
lying now on her back on the cork floor
of my studio, paws turned to the ceiling
the tender skin of her underbelly exposed
She is done talking she says
though one last look from her dog face
implores me
Now don’t go off the deep end,
you owe me a walk, and I can’t go on like this
being your faithful companion
if you’re going to go on about
death and despair (that’s not as profound
as you think)
it’s so repetitive, so oppressive
Just feed me, give me a treat for when I sit
and you do that give me your paw schtick
Dog God protect me
Please, no more fetch and come and roll-over
Just pick up my poop
if that makes you feel useful,
I’ll sleep under your bed and
try not to wake you with my yippy dog dreams
And you can pet me and pet me
if that makes you feel loved,
we labradoodles are therapy dogs after all,
Oh and look, when I prance around the house
playing keep-away with your underwear,
“Drop it Abbie” doesn’t cut it
Any more than when you yell
“Don’t Roll In That Stuff”
It only makes me want to do it more
(one on my few pleasures in life,)
you should try it sometime instead of
going about with your
pitiful pandemic platitudes
(you didn’t know I could alliterate, did you)
Please stop ordering me around
“sit, lie down, get outa’ the trash”
your such a control freak
If you could only see what you look like
from my end of the leash
I really don’t need you—
if you would leave the seat-up
when you flush the toilet, so I have clean water,
and keep the doggie drawer well stocked
you’ll find I can be quite independent
Now if you don’t mind,
I’d like to take my morning nap.
please stop waxing philosophique
tie your shoelaces, and make yourself useful
go defrost me a nice juicy bone
I get so hungry when I wake-up.
Carl Kopman
I came to writing early in life, the sixth grade at PS 238 in Brooklyn. We were studying the American Revolution.
“The red coats came over the hill like a plague of locusts,” I wrote.
I have been chasing similes and metaphors ever since.
Janet Hinze - April 29, 2021 @ 7:39 pm
This is SO wonderful! You have created a perfect man-dog dialogue. there is one typo but I think it’s ready for the New Yorker. (Love the photos of Abbie.)
Jo Moorhouse - April 12, 2021 @ 9:30 pm
Excellent! Just shared this with my friend who is the SERVICE PERSON to “Groucho” – Abbeys clone.
Wish I knew how to add a photo here..
Paul Williams - April 2, 2021 @ 8:39 am
The picture of Abbey on the beach fits quite well. What a great read.
Now tie your shoelaces, and make yourself useful. 🙂
dan - March 27, 2021 @ 6:00 pm
Woof woof,
grrrr
woof.
Lori Beraha - March 22, 2021 @ 11:16 pm
Love It!
Pat Gallagher - March 22, 2021 @ 3:08 pm
Well, Carl, you’ve done it again – taken me on a tour of your psyche via the doggedness of your best friend Abbey. This is quite wonderful and I thank you for your maybe-too-brutal honesty. This is one of the best!
~Pat
Norman Tuck - March 18, 2021 @ 6:24 pm
I loved reading this.
Abbey has a good voice.
Congrats to both of you.
Paul Jordan - March 18, 2021 @ 3:49 pm
Put a smile on my face Carl. Well done. Bravo!
Xochi Hernandez - March 17, 2021 @ 8:02 pm
Love this and you and her.
Connie A Myers - March 17, 2021 @ 11:10 am
Thank you Carl for sharing these inspiring stories and memoirs. I am in the process of becoming the archive of family history as my mom moves to memory care. These stories bring the importance of what I am forced to undertake to the forefront of my mind. I will attempt to write detailed notes on the photos and in the scrapbooks that have been passed on to me. I wish I knew more… but I will preserve what has been told to me. Thank you for publishing Inter-Connecting-Circles and thank you to all the writers who shared their life stories for inspiring me to carry on with our family history!
Marlene - March 17, 2021 @ 8:24 am
You may defrost and thieve me a bone as well, sir; the story is a memory bell. I will always play fetch with you!